I’m back from the BLCFH (you know the one) with a few reflections:

* What’s up with those male academics who insist on being seen in the hotel lobby early in the morning in their running gear, showing off their stork legs and wearing wispy, revealing shorts? Is this some demonstration of masculine prowess — that it’s not enough to prove themselves as scholars, they also have to show off their athleticism too?

* To the Famous Scholar who had published Important Book on my subject: Why, oh why did you have to write Another Book on the subject? And, did you have to address the same authors that I do? Are you trying to make my life more difficult?

* STOP LOOKING AT MY NAMETAG! I’m not an Important Scholar. You don’t know me or my work. Seriously, just stop checking out my tag while I’m washing my hands in the bathroom, standing in line for coffee, riding the elevator, and trying to ignore you.

* To the worst interviewee I’ve ever encountered: The way to get make sure you don’t get the job is 1) treat the interviewers with condescension by telling them obvious facts as if they were children and 2) close the interview with a rambling and completely random story about your youth. Really, you made my job easier.

* No matter what Big Shot Scholar says, Powerpoint is the death of public speaking. Please, please, please don’t make the presentations at BLCFH more insufferable by making Powerpoint standard. I beg of you.

It’s good to be home.