Yes, it’s true. This blog is my girlfriend. Or, more accurately, the substitute for the girlfriend(s) I don’t have (right now).
By “girlfriend” I mean the best friend kind of a girlfriend — the kind of gal pal that you can call up and chat about fairly meaningless but still engaging topics, who cares about the scattered ideas that crop up in your messy head, who wants to hear you complain (for probably the 100th time) about one of your pet peeves, your annoying colleagues, the work you have to do, the stupid choices you have made.
I’ve been thinking about why I’ve been smitten by the blogging bug lately and I realized that it has to do with a gap in my real life — an insufficient number of friends who want to be involved in the ordinariness of my existence.
Do I sound absolutely pathetic? Of course, I’ve got Golden Boy, who’s the gold standard of listeners. And, I’ve got great, wonderful, inspiring women friends … but lately they all seem to be AWOL. At the risk of pissing off the mommy bloggers, I have to say that most of my good friends are recent mothers and that has (understandably — I completely understand, I’m not judging, OK?) cut down on their availability to do the friendship thing.
What I’ve realized is that this blog has become the repository for many of the half-baked thoughts, rants, and curiosities that I would have normally shared with my best girlfriend. I know that my RL friends are there for me if I have a serious life crisis, but, they’re rather too preoccupied for anything else right now.
Blogging has helped to soothe some of my hurt feelings about Amazing Friend who only calls me when she’s driving to or from daycare, so the calls are very short and usually abruptly ended by her saying, “Oh, I just got here, I’ll have to call you back!” Yes, it’s nice that she’s making an effort to stay in touch despite all her work & motherhood responsibilities — but I’ve got the distinctly “squeezed in” feeling.
Or, my Long Time Friend, who only calls to complain about her unhappy marriage and the implications for her kids and, because these are such serious and significant matters, never gets around to asking anything about me or my life. I chafe under the unspoken assumption that none of my problems could possibly compare to the epic scale of hers.
So, when I log back into my blog and I see warm and supportive comments — well, it’s like my best friend called me back! And, when the comments are from brilliant, funny, accomplished, and thoughtful female bloggers — all the better. I get to temporarily pretend that you are all my best buddies, and it’s great!

5 comments
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July 27, 2008 at 7:43 pm
abbagirl
ditto. i feel the same way about my blog and the great supporters, friends, i’ve met while blogging.
July 27, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Notorious Ph.D.
The best is when cyber-friends morph into real-life friends. Unfortunately, as academics, we can’t always choose to live close to those we hold near and dear.
July 27, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Belle
Oh yeah. Totally. You say it well!
July 29, 2008 at 1:16 am
New Kid on the Hallway
omg, my blog is SO my girlfriend. Definitely!
July 29, 2008 at 6:47 pm
incalculable
Me. too. I’m pretty new to blogging, and recently I’ve noticed myself thinking, “oh, I can’t wait to blog about x…” I feel the same way about talking to my friends, but in the last few years so many of them have moved away, and it’s just not the same to leave a voicemail … I’d never thought of it that way before, but my blog is totally filling a gap left by dear friends who are far away…