You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January, 2009.
I’ve been remiss in responding to the award meme going around. I was nominated by both Dr. Curmudgeon and Squatratomagico — and I’m still wondering how I ever got into such good company. Thanks to both of you!
Here’s how it works:
- Please put the logo of the award (above) on your blog if you can make it work with your format.
- Link to the person from whom you received the award.
- Nominate 7 or more blogs.
- Put the links of those blogs on your blog.
- Leave a message on their blogs to tell them
Logo, check. Links, check. But, um … seven or more blogs??? By this late date, every blog I read and every blogger I love has already been nominated — or so it seems. But, I’m going to do my best to participate.
Here, in no particular order, are 5 blogs that I have only recently begun to read. So, I’m adapting the category of this meme a little bit to identify blogs I really like but don’t know that well, yet. Here’s to building new, virtual friendships:
Adjunct Whore at Professing Narratives (who I see was also tagged by Dr. Curmudgeon, so cheers!)
And, for good measure, I’m going to mention Disenchanted Youth, who I’ve been reading for a while, but who deserves a tip o’ the hat for her photo essay on attending the inauguration — which made me appreciate having watched it from the comfort of a warm classroom with padded seats.
Good reading, everybody!
I don’t know what is making me happier on this beautiful, auspicious day …
Obama being sworn in …
Or finally seeing the back of this motherfucker …
I am so relieved I don’t have to actively hate Bush any more.
America, I see a new sun rising.
[I've been tagged by both Dr. Curmudgeon and Squadratomagico in the inspiring blogs meme that's going around. Thanks so much! I'm truly honored! I know that there are obligations that come along with the honor, which I hope to get to soon. In the meanwhile ...]
It looks as if my under-enrolled class is either going to barely meet the enrollment limit or I might be allowed to teach it at under-enrollment levels — I still don’t know for sure. But, I am facing the prospect of teaching a VERY SMALL CLASS. I’ve never taught a very small class before and I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about adapting my usual pedagogy to such a tiny audience.
So, what do you do differently when you are teaching a mini class?
I should add that the class is a graduate seminar but, at my U. this does not translate into super well-prepared, “I’ve just been waiting for this opportunity to show off” kinds of students. My grads — while often quite smart and generally down-to-earth — tend to be insecure, shy about discussion, and struggle with developing their own opinions/ideas. So, participation is one of the major obstacles I face.
How do you get 5 students or less to participate?
Advice?
Not for nothing does the title of this blog and my nom de plume emphasize the fact that life is full of conflicting experiences, emotions, and flavors. I wish I could say that they always result in balance — ying and yang, and all that. The past week has instead been more like Clash of the Titans (since I’m going with movie titles, apparently …)
The Good
This is the time of year when I conduct a financial audit of myself, comparing my January 09 finances to my January 08 finances. By “finances” I mean, of course “debt” — basically I force myself to look squarely at just how bad my debt is, an exercise in awareness that is intended to help me be responsible, thrifty, and goal-oriented (the goal being = debt free).
This time last year, my self-audit gave rise to a screed against academic debt. But, this year I have to say I was pleasantly surprised — amazed even. For the first time in more years than I care to count, I made positive financial progress. I neither gained debt nor made only small baby steps. I made HUGE progress — I paid off a HUGE amount of my debt!
How did I do it? I taught summer school, received a small stipend for attending professor summer camp, and put all the extra money to my debt. I did not take a vacation, nor buy anything luxurious, nor complete any major home improvements. So, it was an exhausting year with little tangible rewards … but in the big picture, I’m making progress.
The Bad
I have a class that is seriously under-enrolled. Actually, I’m not the only one — many of my colleagues are in the same boat, and I’ve seen other academic bloggers writing about the same phenomenon on their campuses. So, it would appear that the old chestnut that “bad financial times are good for universities” might have lost some of its accuracy. Anyway, here I am, four days before classes start and I still don’t know what I’m teaching next semester. The two professors in my department who control such scheduling issues are both male senior faculty who have been teaching at my U. for an eternity. Their attitude towards me all week — as I’ve been showing up in their offices, leaving frantic voice mails and emails — has been along the line of: “Whoa there, little lady! What’s all the fuss about? It’ll all work out just fine — don’t you worry your little head, now.” I’ve been trying to not overreact — either to the fact that I don’t know what I’m going to be teaching or to this patronizing attitude — but, um, hello, I would like to know what I’m teaching!! I do not deal well with doing things at the last minute or with the uncertainty that faces me next week. It will seriously give me an ulcer to have to show up to a newly assigned class without a syllabus, a reading list, or even an enrolled group of students. Good grief, I am going to be sweating all weekend …
The Ugly
My yearly self-audit coincides with the Bi-Annual Personal Appearance Crisis. As I wrote about before, the start of each new semester tends to throw me into an uncharacteristic state of anxiety about my looks and wardrobe. This year is particularly bad because I also recently viewed a bunch of holiday pictures and — say it with me, Oprah! — I’ve gotten so fat!! Oh dear, I hate to be like every other American woman, enveloped in self-hatred because I don’t meet an unreasonable beauty standard. I want to be a fierce feminist who takes pride in my mind, my spirit, my accomplishments, my relationships — all the things that really matter — and who embraces my appearance as a natural phenomenon, not something to be judged, evaluated or “fixed.” But, frankly, I feel like I suddenly look old — like sometime in the past year I got the body of a middle-aged woman. “Why would that be a bad thing?” one part of me says. “Because no one will love you,” the other part says. I know that’s a lie; Golden Boy assures me it is a lie (and I love him for it). But, it’s one incredibly powerful, culturally reinforced lie — very hard to resist. So, I am not going to “fix” myself but I am going to try to be healthy … if I can ever figure out how to separate the two.
Welcome to my roller coaster. And I didn’t even mention the fucking book …
What’s up, 2009? I thought we were going to be pals. You were all shiny and new. I was so optimistic. What could possibly sully this new relationship?
Let’s review the events of the first six days of this new year:
Food poisoning.
Hysterical anxiety attack about the fact that I will never, ever finish my fucking book.
My cat bit me. Hard.
Overnight visit from infuriatingly rude and pompous family members.
Electricity outage.
Broken heater on a very cold night.
Class for next semester not fully enrolled, likely to be cancelled.
Yeah, 2009, we are not off to a good start, you and me.
