Oh Book, you are like a very bad relationship I cannot get out of.
You are like that boy/girl friend who’s always hanging around, showing up at inappropriate times, calling intermittently and late at night — but always expects to be the center of attention. Always demands my full concentration. Takes and takes but never gives.
When I finally find some time to devote to you, you pout about being neglected and I have to slowly coax you back. I have to lavish you with attention even when I don’t want to, just to get anything done.
I complain to all of my friends about you — and have been complaining for years. They are sick and tired of hearing about how much you suck. They tell me, “Dump his ass!” But I can’t dump you — we’ve been together for so long now, I don’t want to have devoted all this time for nothing! They tell me, “Don’t let her treat you that way! You deserve better.” But I don’t feel like I deserve better — I feel like I got what I deserve: a crummy book. Other people have beautiful books, or smart books, or funny books. Mine sucks — but it’s the best I can hope for.
I wonder where this relationship is going. Will you be there for me when I really need you — or will you crap out on me in the end, after everything? Will my other relationships/friendships survive this tumultuous affair, or will I alienate everyone else in my life for you? Will I discover that I actually hate you — maybe when I’m standing over you with a bloody knife? Or will you keep me at your beck and call forever?
Oh Book, I really, really want to break up.

7 comments
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February 15, 2009 at 6:44 am
Sisyphus
This post makes me sad.
The book seems useless — couldn’t you at least be inspired to write some “he done me wrong” dirty blues songs?
February 15, 2009 at 7:06 am
Notorious Ph.D.
My book went out for a pack of smokes 4 months ago. It called once, back in November, but I haven’t heard from it since. But I have a feeling that just when I’m getting on with my life, there it’ll be on my doorstep, demanding a foot massage.
February 15, 2009 at 7:15 am
Flavia
I hope your book at least sends you flowers and chocolates occasionally, in addition to smacking you around.
February 16, 2009 at 11:47 pm
bsgirl
So far, no flowers. No chocolates. But, apparently I’m still hopeful they’ll arrive some day.
Sigh.
February 18, 2009 at 5:23 pm
My bloody valentine: romantic metaphors and the academic life : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present
[...] read the Bittersweet Girl’s recent post called “A Valentine to my Book,” which reads more like a desperate note from a co-dependent than a love [...]
February 19, 2009 at 10:27 pm
profacero
I had a book like this once – or felt this way about a book once. It was all about feeling I had to cater to it, not shape it, or even just let it shape itself before my eyes.
February 23, 2009 at 5:47 am
How I usually feel about my book « (Almost) Without Footnotes
[...] 23, 2009 by servetus Pick your metaphor, bad relationship or NERPoD. Yes, my book is [...]