From my email in-box this morning, edited for content:
Dear Ms. BSG,
My name is Stu Dent and I am a graduate student of Related Field at Random University in Major City. I am writing a research paper on Broad Historical Topic and came across your article on Jstor. I wanted to know if you could brief me on the Another Broad Historical Topic as well as Even Broader Topic. I know this is a lot to ask so if you are unable to answer these questions that’s fine.
Thank-you for considering,
Stu Dent
–
Shall I enumerate all the ways this email pisses me off?
1) “Ms. BSG.” You are going to write me an email that cites my scholarship and asks for me to freely dispense my knowledge, but not address me by my professional title?
2) “Your article.” Which one, you lazy little bastard? I’ve actually written many articles on this topic — indeed, it is the subject of my (maybe one day forthcoming) book. You have the time to look up my email address but not to look more closely at my CV and see that I have several publications that may be relevant to your research?
3) “You could brief me.” Sure! It’s super-duper easy to sum up this very complex historical issue — not to mention all the literary and cultural implications — in an email. And, I’m totally happy to do that for you, even though you are a complete stranger, I have my own students lined up outside my office door to get help on their papers, and a few hundred other responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to “brief” you!
4) “I know this is a lot to ask so if you are unable to answer these questions that’s fine.” Gee, thanks. I appreciate your understanding that this might be a completely inappropriate request. But, don’t let that stop you from making it!
I’m really tempted to do some research on Stu Dent, find out which professors s/he is working with, and drop them a friendly email about their student’s research methods.
How did we come to this, people?
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November 18, 2009 at 8:23 pm
annieem
I’ve received a few of these over the years and would love to know what you ultimately decide to do/or how you decide to respond!
I usually say: “Thank you for writing, but no, I’m unable to respond to your questions. However, I’m sure your campus librarian would be happy to introduce you to some research strategies. Good luck!”
But that feels so unsatisfying.
November 18, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Notorious Ph.D.
I’d probably begin like annieem, but finish by recommending one or two standard books, and telling them to consult their librarian for guidance on how to do further research (translation: “Don’t e-mail me back with follow-up questions, jackass”). THEN I’d write the adviser and tell them, very sweetly, that their student seems to be struggling with even how to begin basic research on their chosen topic… just in case they wanted to help them out by pointing them towards a library.
November 18, 2009 at 9:09 pm
maudelebowski
Uh Stu Dent is la-zy.
November 18, 2009 at 9:10 pm
maudelebowski
which I mean, I know my comment is just a big “duh.”
November 19, 2009 at 12:34 am
moria
Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god. I read this through and thought, gee, BSG is being a lee-tle ungenerous, the poor kid probably just doesn’t get it, most kids don’t, you can’t expect hir to know what goes into research or what these topics even are, in some sense, can’t expect hir to anticipate and appreciate certain kinds of complexity, etc.
Then I re-read. THIS PERSON IS A GRADUATE STUDENT. Hooooo-wee.
Jawdrop.
November 19, 2009 at 4:01 am
Ink
I tend to say things a la Annie Em’s example. Even when I got a request from a student to SEND THEM SOME CRITICAL BOOKS! I mean, WTF?
Yeah, I’d be mad if I were you, too!
November 19, 2009 at 4:30 am
David Hobby
“Stu Dent is lazy.” I’ll say! It occurs to me that they could have sent off 100 such emails to people in the field. Just paste in the same text and change the names. If they do get a reply or two, they may even have something worth plagiarizing…
I’m in Mathematics, and we sometimes have students posting homework questions on mailing lists. I’d hope no one helps them, but all it takes is one useful response to reward the practice.
November 19, 2009 at 4:42 am
Digger
Yoiks. Lazy Little Bastard made me rofl. You could always email them back, and say you’ve forwarded their email to person-who-happens-to-be-their-advisor, that perhaps they could help them with their research…
November 19, 2009 at 9:52 am
Bev
Some years ago a student of mine was struggling late one night to understand an article by Homi Bhabha, so she found his phone number and called to ask him to explain himself, and since he wasn’t in the office to answer the phone in the middle of the night, she left a message on his voice mail. The next day in class she proudly reported to me what she had done. I have often wondered what Homi Bhabha thought of my student’s research methods and what kind of wrath he might have called down on my head, but frankly, it had never occurred to me that a student might attempt such a strategy. How can we warn students against attempting the unthinkable?
November 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm
bsgirl
Bev — That anecdote is *priceless*! Calling Homi Bhabha for assistance understanding his work — why didn’t I ever think of that?!
I’ve received emails like this one before but, yes, what sets this one apart is the fact that Stu is a grad student. At a seemingly reputable grad school. Maybe (reading generously) Stu is a very brand new grad student and hasn’t yet learned research skills. Or may even be following advice from hir grad profs — I do know some people who encourage their students to contact scholars as a way of networking.
At any rate: my response was to post the email on the blog, take great delight in the outrage expressed by you, my peeps — and delete the email with no reply.
November 19, 2009 at 3:12 pm
the rebel lettriste
One of my former students in an intro to poetry class proudly told me that he had emailed Extremely Famous Poet, to ask her what her poem “meant” and to share his close reading of that poem in order to obtain her “feedback.”
My shame? I was EFP’s former student, and he identified me by name.
Luckily, I’m friends with the research assistant for Extremely Famous Poet. Thank god the RA reads/responds to all her email.
November 19, 2009 at 4:29 pm
historiann
You’re within your rights to delete that e-mail, of course, but I like the idea of forwarding it on to the professor to notify hir that this student’s research “methods have become unsound,” to quote Apocalypse Now.
I really think it’s probably more cluelessness than arrogance that led the student to e-mail you. But, perhaps I’m not cynical enough.
November 19, 2009 at 5:12 pm
LassLisa
Sure, some students hear favorable things said about “contacting someone with questions about their research in order to make connections in the field” and don’t quiiiite process it critically. Or they hear about how good so-and-so’s biography of Famous Scientist was because she contacted him and got a response containing further information / sources, and don’t ‘get’ that you should only do that if you’ve already done the research on your own (also, laziness). But, a grad student! Oh, the pain! I hope that the kid gets some feedback before he ruins his possible relationships with everyone else in the field… or that he gets the feedback that tells him grad school is not the place for him.