You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'things/editions' category.
• That all my efforts to coax, cajole, bully and bribe my students into doing the reading and participating in class discussion have ceased to have any effect in the face of an outright, collective refusal to work.
• Students who don’t even attempt to mask their contempt of me anymore.
• All the stupid “stepping stone” assignments I assigned back when I still believed in good pedagogy. (h/t Bardic)
• The student who is outrageously failing my class, hasn’t turned in any major assignments, and yet comes to class every day.
• The student who parrots whatever his classmates say in order to appear to have done the assigned reading, and thus “fool” me into thinking he’s a responsible student.
• The fact that the previous two statements describe the same student.
• Everyone who has asked me for a syllabus for classes I’m teaching next semester.
• Students who don’t buy the books.
• Dead grandparents, broken printers, car accidents, car breakdowns, traffic jams, emotional crises, breakups, swine flu, regular flu, generic colds, exotic illnesses, court dates, work obligations, assignments for other classes, sports trips, and every other excuse my students are digging out of their arsenal to explain late assignments, missed classes, poor quality essays or exams, and a general failure to perform at adequate levels.
• Grading. Endless piles of grading stretching from here to the horizon of time.
Sandra Day O’Connor says she’s not a feminist.
The following paragraph in one of my students’ papers, brought to you with all errors intact: “The role of women has come and long way lets not forget the feminist movement. Through self expression and being able to be who we want through this has allowed us to surpass the sexiest opinions of the past and this has brought us to a better understanding of equality among genders.” Sexiest opinions, folks.
Being told by one of my colleagues that he overheard a group of my students (perhaps including the author above) complaining about how I “ruin” literature by making them talk about feminist issues.
The large, silver metallic faux testicles dangling from the bumper of the truck I drove home behind — with a bumper sticker reading: Gotz Balz?***
—
* The best part was the baby carrier visible in the back seat — because nothing says fine parenting like a pair of fake balls on the bumper!
** Trust me, if I had been able to snap a picture of the unbelievable sight of the fake balls, they would have been front and center on this blog.
It is so hard to blog these days because:
• The economy is collapsing. Shouldn’t we all be hiding under the covers?
• The presidential election hangs in the balance, and a lot of people seem to actually be considering voting for the wrong guy.
• We’re still at war.
• Sarah Palin is the butt of endless jokes over her dismal, embarrassing performance on the news, and yet could still end up the Vice President of the United States.
• Paul Newman died.
• Administrative work just gets stupider and more arcane with ever iteration.
• No matter how hard you work to develop new and innovative pedagogies, it doesn’t matter if the students think reading is for losers and original ideas are for liberal elitists.
• The weather has turned lovely but you can’t shake the feeling that this may be the last beautiful autumn ever in the history of the planet, that we may all be wearing sunblock and breathing through gas masks this time next year.
• The polar bears are still endangered.
• Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse out there, you wake up in the morning and it is much, much worse, and no amount of snarky, insightful, angry, or sarcastic blogging is going to make any difference.
I am annoyed:
• By the fact that disposable razors are so much cheaper than reusable ones, because the replaceable razor blades cost a fortune.
• By this woman’s warm, cultured voice and smart pantsuit, intended to reassure me that the oil crisis is in capable hands.
• That the little green plastic baskets that cherry tomatoes come in are not recyclable!!
• That e-greetings cards seem so uncaring or lazy, so I feel obligated to send paper cards instead.
• About the grey hairs on my head, visible because hair dye is evil.
• About my unpainted toenails, because nail polish is evil. Oh, yeah, as are almost all cosmetics.
• That I never remember to take my vast collection of reusable grocery bags with me to the grocery store.
• That my credit card company keeps sending me monthly bills in the mail, even though I’ve repeatedly clicked the “Go Paperless” icon and asked them not to.
• By anything in hard plastic clamshell packaging that is not only difficult and dangerous to open but is a waste of natural resources — and cannot be recycled.
• Because it’s so difficult to be an environmentally ethical consumer.
I do not care about:
Upholding the “highest academic standards” in the face of grade inflation.
Whether English majors are required to take a class on Major Writer A or Underrepresented Group B.
How to integrate more active learning into my classes.
Improving graduation rates.
The precise wording of Section 12, subsection B stroke 2 of the university’s policies.
Whether our next hire is in Critical Area #1, Critical Area #2 or Emerging But Soon To Be Critical Area #3.
Recruiting new students to the major.
Encouraging alumni to donate to the university’s endowment.
Whether there are sausages at the end of the semester departmental brunch.
Assessment.
The longevity, financial stability, or national reputation of the university at which I work.
I could really care less.
